Guys. I am a Fixer Upper fiend. I mean, not actual fixing up. I don’t like to really do things and I really don’t like for things to be left undone so I just kind of…leave them. If I have a project I need done I’ll usually ask my dad. Because for some reason he never says no to me, even though he should have started about fifteen years ago.
No I mean the HGTV show starring Chip and Joanna Gaines. I love Chip and Joanna. They are amazing. I want to be their friend. I want to be them. I contemplated moving to Waco so I could buy a crappy house and they could hang out with me for six weeks.
I think it’s a testament to the resiliency of the American spirit that when people in my generation hear “Waco” they think not of Branch Davidians and gun battles with the military and, you know, death, but rather PAINT SWATCHES! And OVERPRICED HOME GOODS! And CUPCAKES!
(I’m not kidding. They have a bakery.)
Or maybe not so much a resilient spirit but rather our collective stupidity.
(Either way, when my sister said she was going to Waco a few months ago I was all “WHHAAAA TRY TO STEAL SOME OF JOANNA’S HAIR FOR ME.” And I have an MA in history.)
I love them. I love their show. I watch it sometimes at my mom’s on mute and it’s like Chip and Joanna are telling me it’s going to be okay, and it’s totally fine that my children are running around like crazy people and for some reason always need to be touching each other and yet hate being touched by the other one at the same time. Chip’s eye wrinkles and Joanna’s amazing hair understand.
So when I found out that they had started a magazine, I was like shut up and take my money already.
And it’s here! The little preview issue is finally here!
It’s so gorgeous. There’s high quality photography and cute little conceptual drawings and sweet homey columns from Chip and Joanna and yeah, okay, it’s kind of apparent that they don’t really have enough to say to fill an entire magazine but it’s okay! Because the homespun wisdom! And the adorableness! Just sooo cute!
Look! There’s a whole article about them making smores with their kids. HOW ADORABLE IS THAT????
And Chip’s Corner? At the back? Where he talks about manly things like getting up at 4am because his grandpa taught him that cows are nicer then and he will always know the value of hard work because of his grandpa? I’m not crying. You’re crying. Ahhh America.
I have very little use for this magazine. Like, for serious. I live in the suburbs. I have a normal sized house and despite the fact that I would clean their bathrooms for them, I don’t actually like a lot of the stuff they do design wise. (I’m not an exposed beam kind of girl.) On the first page, which in my fashion magazines is usually taken up by a list of the ways in which I am inferior to other, more attractive women and how to change that so someone might love me some day, there is a step by step guide to growing olive trees in your house. OLIVE TREES. IN YOUR HOUSE. That’s not me.
There’s an entire section on pies and chocolate is not mentioned once. Just a bunch of fruit. Yeesh.
But you know what? I still love it.
It’s so nice and wholesome and just…nice! In the letter from the editor, instead of some scary thin woman harping about how she stopped checking emails in the cab on the way home at 10pm so she could be present when she kissed her kids goodnight, Joanna signs off with “bless your home.” I try to, Joanna! All the time! They are committed to family time. And campfires! And dressing adorably coordinated but not weirdly matchy. Joanna writes about how she feels better with a clean house, and you get the feeling it’s not like the way that there are constant lists of “How to Get Your Home Clutter Free!” in every other magazine, it’s because she’s intentional about it and thinks about how she likes her mind to be free to love her family and not be obsessed with stuff.
And yeah I know I don’t have a guest room and ever if I did I would never be able to get it together to have a lighted candle for them and a bar of dark chocolate because I care “about them…and their health!” but I love reading about people that do!
It’s so nice. It’s sweet. It’s wholesome. There’s so much that isn’t wholesome in the media and world and coming at me and my kids like 24/7. I have to work constantly to combat that, and it’s really hard sometimes. It’s really nice to take an hour every few months and look at a delightful representation of a sweet, homey family.
(And no, I’m not stupid. I know that they probably have their issues. Just like we all do. But THIS MAGAZINE YOU GUYS. SO SWEET.)
You can subscribe at their website- magnoliamarket.com. (And no, I got nothing for writing this. I JUST LOVE THEM LIKE WHOA.)